im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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