He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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