there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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