we have officially lost it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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