He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
