i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
