I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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