Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
