you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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