shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
