I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
