What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
