This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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