im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
