Sponge bath it is.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
