this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
