yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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