Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
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