tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
tell me about the fingering
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
