they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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