ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
