I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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