Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
