I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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