New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
