Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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