If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
