I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
