My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I party with great urgency now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
