i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
