So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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