this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize