You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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