JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
