I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
