She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
