Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
