You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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