I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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