fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
