i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
