is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
