Its about making memories worth repressing
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
