my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We need to rekindle our bromance
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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