:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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