Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
