I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
