i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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