He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
