I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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