Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I touched a dick in church today
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