So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
