Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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