Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
