She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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