You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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