Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
