Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize