We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
