have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just forgot I was standing up.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
