I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
